Step yo game up

Ladies – There IS a shortage of men out there. We outnumber them a good 7 to 1 in the best of places. But PLEASE believe that just because there is a shortage out there that all niggas ain’t shit.

There’s a lot of women that sit around complaining that they can’t find a “good man” who’s making the six figures, got 3 degrees, ain’t got a good car, job and no kids but fail to look at themselves first.

– You just BARELY got your GED
– You ain’t GOT a car
– You have 5 kids by 4 daddies
– You aren’t doing anything to elevate your situation but sit around and complain that your manager is full of shit

Now tell me how you could POSSIBLY think that this mythological handsome successful man is going to find and/or fall for you? What are YOU bringing to the table?

Let’s flip the script. You’re successful, smart, beautiful and even if you have kids, you take care of them on your own. Dude from the hood where you’re currently staying with no job, 6 kids and no car tries to holla at you at whatever place you happen to be together. Would you give him the time of day?

Yeah, me neither.

Step yo damn game up before you complain about there being “no good niggas out there”. BITCH YOU AIN’T NO GOOD YA DAMN SELF.You give trash, you’re gonna get trash in return. Elevate yourself. Keep your legs closed. Above all, stay classy. Stop actin like a hood chick and make somethin of yourself.  Damn.

Where’s MY relief?!

There’s upteen MILLION people comin out the wood works to promote credit card debt relief which is all fine and dandy but what about us motherfuckers with Student Loan debt?!

I went to a private school for the one on one support and elevated learning status to get a good, high paying job. While I was in college, the job market crashed. Big time. So I get out and can’t find a job but I have this HUGE amount of debt over my head while I’m boppin around my parents house tryin to find a job ANYWHERE.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I didn’t get stuck under bills I couldn’t afford! I didn’t live outside my means! I was frugal! I had to, I was in college. So where the fuck is MY relief?!

Suuuure there’s the “only pay 10% of your income” based law…but that’s only for federal loans, many of which I didn’t qualify for. I have private meaning that a) there is NO relief program for me b) I will probably be in debt for the rest of my life. c) Even if I file for bankruptcy my loans will not be forgiven.

To add to that why the HELL does my parents income determine MY eligibility to receive financial aid?! They’re not paying back my damn loans! So what they make more than $100,000 a year…I ain’t gettin any of that! They have a house and two cars to worry about, not adding on MY issues!

I shouldn’t have to work the corner AND the pole just to pay for a piece of paper that says I’m smart enough to not fuck it up.

SO HEY GOVERNMENT…UH….WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT THIS SHIT?

A V-Day Post

So here’s your damn post.

FUCK VALENTINE’S DAY. Yeah, I said it. No, I’m not some bitter scorned bitch mad cause they can’t get a date. V-Day annoys the SHIT out of me. On one hand you have the die hard “OMG IT’S SOOOOOO GREAT” people that obsess from Feb. 1st until the 13th on who they’ll be with, what they’ll do, where they go, what they’ll wear, blah blah blah. On the other you have the bitter hearts that are mad hating.

GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

First of all, why the hell you gotta wait for one day a year to show the one you love that you love them?Why does a little fat baby with wings gotta shoot a bow at you? (I’ma get onto cupid later) That’s just romantically lazy. Why can’t you take your dude/girl out for a special date JUST BECAUSE? Why can’t you do the little things because you want to?

Stop making such a big ass deal about this shit. In fact, after I get onto cupid later, this will be my last word on it. I ain’t got shit else to say to y’all on this.

Happy “Fuck, I gotta buy flowers and Candy” Week

In honor of Valentine’s Day I have a whole fun-filled week of rants planned. Doesn’t mean it’ll happen, but it’s planned. 🙂

First one comes later cause I need a nap. I’m cranky as shit.

Love is for suckers, don't be a dum dum

-Marz

Haiti

****Updated January 16, 2010****

I’m going to take a moment out here to be serious here. What happened there in Haiti was a major tragedy, and many people don’t realize just how bad. Let me break it down for you.

This earthquake was at 7.0 on the Richter scale, making it the strongest quake since 1770. That also classifies it as a major earthquake. The quake occurred six miles from the surface of the earth, as opposed to the hundreds of miles where they normally occur. There were 33 recorded aftershocks ranging from 4.2 to 5.9. 2.0 to 4.0 is the typical range of earthquakes we feel here in the US with the aftershocks registering far less.

Haiti is the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. Most of its inhabitants live in little more than shacks. Starvation and poverty are a widespread problem for the country. 80% of Haitians live below the poverty line. Most live off of less than $2 a day, and do not have formal jobs.

The earthquake hit 10 miles west of Port-au-Prince, home to over 2 million people. As there are no real construction guidelines in the country, most houses and buildings have collapsed.

There are 3 million+ that are in desperate need of help.  They no longer have homes, they no longer have electricity, running water, or food.  Many need medical help but the hospitals and doctors are severely under prepared to handle the sheer amount of people who need them. They don’t have the equipment, supplies, medicine or man power to handle such an emergency.

Here’s where you come in.

There are so many places that you can go to to help. I’m going to find as many LEGIT organizations as I can and list them here. The more lists and listed, the better. I hope to even make it to Haiti myself to offer my support in any way possible. The least you can do is offer any amount of cash you can spare, or food or whatever you feel they may need over there.

Red Cross – Donate money, services or items needed
– Text “haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross for Haiti relief effort
Yele – Fund by Haitian native Wyclef Jean specifically to provide relief
– Text “yele” to 501501 to donate $5 to the Wyclef Jean Yele project”
Google Haiti Relief Page
– Go here for the latest news, ways to volunteer, directly donate to causes and more
Center for International Disaster Information (CIDI)
– Place yourself in the Federal Database for volunteers based on your services and availability
Watch Mr. Safety’s video
– This one’s easy. Go watch this video. For every 100k views he gets, he’ll donate. I’ve been following this guy on the web for a while and I believe he’ll do it.
Stillerstrong
– Ben Stiller’s non-profit that was previously donating to build schools in Haiti is temporarily redirecting their donation funds to the disaster relief.

More to come as I get them. List will be updated often, please check back. In the meantime, please keep Haiti, its people and those who have loved ones lost in your hearts, thoughts and prayers.

– Marz

Sarah Palin

Will someone PLEASE make this dumb hoe sit down already?

Obama

GET OFF THAT NIGGA NUTS.

It took 8 years for Bush to fuck up the country and ya’ll to start crucifying him, Obama only been in office a year. He’s facing momentous opposition, a failing economy, a war HE didn’t start, the hopes, dreams and expectations of every african american child, pressure from his comrades, and best yet EVERYONE is critisizing his every move because he is the first black President.

LEAVE THAT NIGGA ALONE AND LET HIM DO HIS GODDAMNED JOB. Shit. I’d be fuckin up too with you bunch of assholes acting the way you do. He’s not Christ, he’s not God, he’s a fucking man. He’ll make mistakes. He’ll fuck it up sometimes. But he’s doing the best he fucking can so shut the fuck up. If you think you can run the country better, by all means campaign and run against him next term. Till then shut the hell up and let the man work or provide some useful services feedback, go through the proper channels and stop acting like a bunch of dumbfuck apes.

Control your damn kids

I am SO sick and tired of motherfuckers bringing their ill-behaved children in public places, letting them run amok and not BEATIN THAT ASS. Who the hell wants to go to the store or a nice restaurant with Dumbdick  Parent #4593 letting her kids run wild?

Parents, lemme break it down for you. Little Timmy just may not be the angel you see him to be. If you go out in public and people are giving you dirty looks, that might be an indicator that you’ve got those rose tinted glasses on. Don’t worry though, it’s natural to think the sun shines out of your offspring’s ass…after all, you created him. And I know the thought of harming one hair on his precious little behind is deplorable at best,  but if that little bastard is screaming I WANT COCOFRUITSQUARES over and over while throwing everything within an arm’s reach…it might be time to start whoopin that ass.

Why the FUCK would you let your child act like this with no reprimand?”Little Timmy’s just expressing himself! I like to let him be free!”  BULLSHIT. Little Timmy can express himself just fine without being a whiny, destructive little asshole. There’s a time and place for everything and the minute he steps out of line you need to bring down the FUCKING FIRE.

Now don’t get it twisted simplebitches. There IS a difference between abuse and a spanking and not ALL situations require a beating. Sometimes the FIRE is simply a look that says “get your shit together or we’re going in that car and we’re going to have a good ol’ fashioned me whippin that ass” or a subtle “knock that shit off before I knock YOUR shit off” whisper in the ear. Hell, when I was a kid if I even THOUGHT of doing something wrong all my mama or daddy had to do was look at me. They never said a word, but I knew that if I stepped out of line my ass was theirs. Ain’t no damn reason you can’t do the same. Let your kids know who runs shit, not just to be over them, but for their own safety and well being. You never know when some crazy bitch will get fed up and deal with your children themselves.

Fuck little Timmy and “expressing his creativity”. CONTROL YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN. The rest of the world will thank you.

Racist motherfucker almost killed me!

So I’m driving the other day with my baby cousin in his car seat in the back seat. I’m on a back road that’s two lanes in both directions and thin as shit when I catch up to a truck going <30mph. Normally that doesn’t phase me, I adjust. But the speed limit is 45 and the baby has a full load in the diaper and smelled..well…never you fuckin mind. Naturally I speed up to get around this guy to try and get to the gas station ASAP for a changing station. All was well and good till he looked over.

Now for those of you who are dumb as shit and can’t tell, I’m black. My hair is natural and I have a thing for big hoop earrings. Call me a stereotype, I’ll call you an asshole. But in no way shape or form am I a “bonquisha” or any other species of hood rat. But to this dumb hick I was “nigger shayshay” and he decided that it would be too much of an insult to his ginormous 2″ dick and ego to let me in front of him…and sped up.  Okay, fine. At least now you’re going a decent speed. So I get ready to get back in my lane behind him and the dumb dick slows down. Arg, okay. Getting in front.

This mothafucka here speeds up again. Now at this point I’m getting aggravated and a little scared.  We’re about to go around a blind curve and if I can’t fake this dumb bitch out soon another car could hit us head on. So I revved my engine (which has rabbit and squirrel power, not horse) and as soon as he sped up slammed on my breaks just in time. We went around the curve and lo and behold…a car comes. Now at this point I’m FURIOUS. Not for myself, but for the innocent sleeping baby in my car and instantly went mama lion on his ass. With one hand calmly dialing 911 I scale back and turn my bright lights on. I made SURE I was right where they would be blinding him via his mirrors. I reported his license plate number to the police and rode his ass until about a mile from the gas station while still on the phone with the operator.

Thank you Chas police…there was an officer waiting at the corner and I voice confirmed it was him. He got pulled over and I pulled over to make my testimony. His charges? Reckless driving, endangerment, speeding and going under the speed limit. Then he proceeded to SPIT at me and call me a dumb nigger bitch.

One out of 3 ain’t bad but dumb nigger is kinda an oxymoron.

In conclusion: If you’re a racist motherfucker, don’t let me catch you on a dark road bitch.

“Internet Gangstas”

Ain’t nothin more stupid and annoying than a damn internet gangsta. You know the type…those mothafuckas that think they’re hard when they’re behind a computer screen.

Fuck those niggas.

What kind of pathetic punk ass mama’s boy pussy needs to go on the internet to boost their little ego? They sit there and type out “fuck that skank ass hoe” knowin well and damn good if they ass was standing in front of them they wouldn’t say shit and if they did would get chomped the fuck right on off. Knock that shit off. Even though it IS funny to see some meek ass nigga suddenly be “hard”, that shit ain’t cute.

So you “internet thugs” always out there talkin shit thinkin you hard because you’re behind a computer screen, go stuff a dick down ya throat and shut the fuck up.